How is it possible to feel as tired this morning as I did going to sleep last night? Isn't that theory on sleep, that you are supposed to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning?
I woke up and laid in bed for 30 minutes, staring at the ceiling, thinking of reasons why I should be entitled to stay home. Really, what I should have done was use that 30 minutes to pour myself a cup of coffee and lovingly pack Lily's lunch bag and make her a hot breakfast because the reality is that it's only October. I have two vacation days left and get letters home from school every other day preparing us for the impending doom of the swine flu. And if the H1N1 flu doesn't kill us the unpaid time off of work will so I got up and assumed the role of drill sargeant to see to it that we make it to the end of the driveway on time to catch the school bus.
Ten years ago I thought that I wanted at least 3 kids, two dogs and a fulfilling career. Ten years ago I thought that I would always have a husband waiting with me at the end of the driveway for the bus to come and give me a coffee breath kiss before we both drove off for the day. Where is that guy? The one I married lives 30 miles away and is without a doubt still in bed after playing in his band until the wee hours of the morning. I wonder if he thinks about us when he gets up? Probably not. He never calls to see if we are safely where we are supposed to be and I know him well enough to know that his equivilant of my 30 minutes spent staring at the ceiling is 30 minutes of him scratching his ass and looking for a pair of socks. And I'm sure he is never worried about Lily or I getting the swine flu.
While I'm sure there is no reason for concern, I do feel achy and have a headache but think that it has more to do with the fact that I fell asleep reading and rolled over onto Lily's hard metal book light for several hours. Just to be safe, I think that I will write to President Obama and recommend a stimulus package for single working mothers who are out of vacation days and don't get child support and against all odds and vigorous hand washing have been stricken with the swine flu.
The only slow movin' i'm doing this morning is to go refill my coffee mug.