I can explain the Barbie shoe. You know, it's one of those things you wonder about. Can I pull off a hightop platform sneaker with these legs? It was just there. Sticking out of the mud by the swings at the park. Just my size. Or so I thought. I tried it on, gazed at my reflection in a puddle and laughed out loud at how ridiculous I look. Now, it's a bit too snug. I can't shake it off. Help a sister out. I'll sit. You pull. We can pretend this never happened.
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